September 28, 2012
I put it off as long as I could, and as distasteful as it was, I finally broke it to the family that I was, alas, being forced to cut expenses, mostly because I don't have a job anymore, and will almost surely never get another one.
"Never get a job," I think, silently chortling to myself, "until they start advertising for 'Lazy old man to work, when he is in the mood, for premium pay and generous benefits for doing practically nothing, if anything, a couple of days per week or month."
Immediately, the members of the family unit were, as expected, hostile and defensive, obviously remembering the last time when I "cut expenses" so that I could, as they never tire of pointing out, buy something expensive and act really stupidly.
And they no doubt remember, too, that they got exactly nothing from me that time, keeping all the money for myself, and I how I rudely laughed at their pleas for money, telling them, in a snide, snotty and sarcastic tone of voice, "Get a job, loser!", and they were, as I remember, really grumpy about it.
Naturally, the first thing out of each of their mouths was (distilling the essence of their lengthy, and loud, remarks) was "No! Don't stop giving me money! Stop giving money to those other family-unit losers, but not me!"
The "family meeting," such as it was, immediately devolved into a weird, ugly fight about who could make my life more miserable, and thus, apparently, deserving of more money than the others.
Finally, as if at a signal, they turned to me and asked "So how much money AM I going to get from now on?"
I could see the fear and panic in their faces. Being the considerate, loving father and darling husband that I am ("He's a real peach!"), I gently replied "None, you morons! You get nothing! Nothing! There is no more money! Exactly what part of 'bankruptcy' don't you understand, you lowlife Earthling halfwits who now get what they deserve because they would not buy gold, silver and oil with their miserable few pennies?"
Well, at the instant their deafening howls of protest rattled off the ceiling, I realized that this was the wrong way to say what was, actually, correct, and I should have said "I am so sorry, but I fear that you will get almost nothing, and it breaks my heart because I love you so much and I feel your pain."
But the shrieking, cacophonous, angry, panicked result would be the same, no matter how I said it, as I am reminded by riots in Europe. This is also by angry mobs of panicky, busted-out people who are displeased about getting what they deserve for spending themselves, decade after decade, steadily into total bankruptcy, which every other idiot in history knows is a Very Bad Idea (VBI).
So it must be a kind of a karma thing, I guess.
Anyway, since "what goes around comes around," it will happen here, and everywhere else, too. And all for the same reasons, too: Imminent bankruptcy and utter ruination of a ridiculous, bloated, mal-invested, government-centric economy, financed by the evil Federal Reserve creating excess money and debt to finance it all.
To gauge how bad it will be in America, an article by Michael Tanner of the Cato Institute will perhaps prove instructive. He writes "The federal government runs 126 separate anti-poverty programs. Altogether, seven different Cabinet departments and six independent agencies each administer at least one anti-poverty program."
Together, these federal anti-poverty programs "cost taxpayers more than $668 billion last year," but that "if one includes state and local welfare spending, government at all levels will spend more than $952 billion this year," or, if you prefer, a whopping 6% of GDP. Yikes!
That breaks down to the dismal statistic that "combined with state and local spending, government spends $20,610 for every poor person in America - or $61,830 per poor family of three." Wow!
He continues without even a hint of the irony or the angry, screaming outrage that it deserves, and would have gotten in a scornful, screaming, spittle-spewing Mogambo Howl Of Complete Outrage (MHOCO) if I had written the article, which I did not, both because I don't have Mr. Tanner's talent writing or obvious intellect, and also because it looks like it took a lot of work, which doesn't interest me that much. At all.
In fact, I am actually repelled by the idea of work.
So, irony-less, angry-less, screaming-less and outrage-less, we are left to ourselves to calculate that this government giveaway of $61,830 per poor family of three is a Lot Of Money (LOM), especially "given that the poverty line for that family is just $18,530, we should have theoretically wiped out poverty in America many times over."
Hahaha! I laughed at the sheer, monumental incredulity of such a thing! I am dumbfounded! Hahaha!
But there are a lot of weird things in a huge federal budget that includes a deficit that is already an unbelievable $1.4 trillion, which alone is an astounding, unbelievable, incredible 9% of the entire economy of the Whole Freaking Country (WFC)! We're doomed!
And it's a deficit which will be - hold onto your hats! -- higher next year, and the year after that, and then, apparently, forever after that ! Double doomed!
If your eyes are bugging out and you think to yourself "We're freaking doomed!", then you will be happy to know that you understand the situation perfectly. This explains why your gut is twisted into a knot, and why your primitive brainstem is itself sending the loud message to buy gold, silver and oil stocks continuously (dollar-cost averaging), and with a feverish tenacity.
As their prices rise through the years, this will allow you to laugh merrily and heartily -- Hahahaha! -- as you watch in rapt fascination at the weird, unbelievable things that the government, and the Federal Reserve, will do in raw desperation and suicidal panic as the economy is destroyed by the inflation, deflation and misery caused by irresponsibly creating Too Much Money And Credit (TMMAC) on top of TMMAC on top of TMMAC of top of TMMAC.
If you do NOT buy gold, silver and oil, however, you won't have anything to laugh about.
And speaking, as I do, for all the stupid people in this world who prefer to watch TV, eat, drink, have fun, or simply stare off into space like some kind of brain-damaged mental-case rather than have to deal with boring investing stuff, we are very thankful that simply buying gold, silver and oil stocks is the smartest investment anyone can make when the money supply is being increased by so much, for so long.
That may explain why those who buy gold bullion, silver bullion and oil stocks, in a desperate, fearful response to the Federal Reserve creating so much excess money, are known to say "Whee! This investing thing is easy!"